When Marriage is Great, Except for the Vicious Arguments
Passion is the spice of any relationship, providing fire and motivation to an otherwise mundane routine between a loving couple. It's what causes you to crave each other's company and keeps things lively in the bedroom long after the mystery is gone, but passion also comes in more than one package. Many couples who love each other deeply and would do anything to stay together often find themselves fighting bitterly over things that seem trivial after the fact. When voices are raised and doors are slamming, there's no doubt it's time to seek out couple's therapy even if the actual relationship isn't in jeopardy.
The Many Forms of Passion in a Marriage
Passionate people are expressive, energetic, and deeply emotional. It causes you to enthusiastically pursue your romantic partner, which is wonderful for a strong and devoted relationship. However, this passion also carries into everything else you do, including the little things. You may clean the house with enjoyable vigor thinking of dirt as the enemy or feel strongly about choosing the movie you go see. On your own, this pervasive passion is harmless and often amusing to friends, but it can become dangerous when defied. If you find yourself getting angry when your partner interrupts your tasks or when they want to watch something else, it may be time to balance that passion with a little perspective and self-control.
Strong Relationships with Vicious Arguments
In a passionate relationship, you know you were made for each other and when anything from the outside seems like it might threaten your relationship, the two of you form a truly unstoppable team. Whenever something important occurs, you and your partner are always ready to take it on together. However, it's not uncommon for couples who feel deeply to clash on things that don't trigger the teamwork response like chore distribution or how to spend recreation time and when this happens, arguments can be blown all out of proportion because of that strong emotional undercurrent.
In these situations, couples often say vicious and hurtful things they don't mean and if the situation is allowed to continue, sometimes these fights happen where others can see or hear them. Both of you may be sorry afterward and agree that whatever the fight was about doesn't really matter, but that somehow doesn't stop you from fighting again in the near future. In many cases, the emotional and physical intimacy that comes after the apologies is a heady cocktail of adrenaline and sadness that is all too easy to get addicted to. Some partners even start fights in order to reach this point, whether or not they realize that is their goal at the time.
Seeking Help to Restore Harmony
Couple's therapy isn't just for people who are afraid they're going to break up, it's for any couple that needs help reaching a harmonious state in their relationship. If you are passionately in love with your partner, perhaps to the point of hating them passionately in the middle of an argument, couple's therapy can help you get a grip on your emotions. You want to use all that emotional energy to make your partner happy and improve your shared life, not waste it on pointless bitter arguments. Knowing you love each other and would never separate is a powerful place to start. It means that you have the freedom to try your counselor's suggestions without any risk to your unstoppably deep bond.
Whether the fights have been about little things like dishes or even big things like how to manage your shared finances, couple's counseling can at the very least offer you a few insights and techniques to try and ideally will help you return to that adventurous 'Us Against the World' relationship you started with. If you'd like to turn your passion back toward creating joy instead of strife, contact me today. I'm here to help.